


Goodbye.

by jeonjangmi



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Memories, Moving On, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23981659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonjangmi/pseuds/jeonjangmi
Summary: It was time for Joshua to let go. He knows that but he can't help but look back a little at the time he spent with her.---Or alternatively, the backstory of Joshua's cross earrings and the reason why he finally decided to remove it.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua & Everyone, Hong Jisoo | Joshua & Original Female Character(s), Hong Jisoo | Joshua & Seventeen, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 5





	Goodbye.

Leaving the United States alone was one of the biggest step a teenage boy could ever take. And that's exactly what he did. He left the country he grew to love, the place that held his precious memories, and the country his beloved belonged it.

He left everything all for a dream he wasn't sure he could fulfill. He threw everything down the drain to be the singer he dreamed of. And he did.

He was finally a singer. A member of a group known for being self-reliant. He attained his dreams after shedding blood, sweat, and tears in that green room. From the darkness of an unknown dream he now shone the brightest on stage as people admire and look up to him.

He should be happy now. That's how it was supposed to be but why, why is it that his heart hurts more than it should have? The longing that should have been long gone clutched to his heart tightly, sucking life from it as it grew as the days passed by. Why is it that among the thousands of fans that comes to see them, his eyes are only searching for one? Why is it that he's still holding on when he should have moved on?

He held his chest tightly as he sat alone in his room. He shared it with other members but they were out making a ruckus in the living room so no one could see him.

Whenever he's alone, just like always, his mind wanders to the time when he was still in Los Angeles. The times when he'd go to church and sing. The times when he would steal glances at the girl playing the keyboard as they all sang in harmony. He missed their choir practices where he would catch glimpses of her laughing and joking around with other people. Her eyes, her hair, her face, her fingers - everything was perfect from head to toe that he couldn't help but stare. Whenever she's there, he would turn into a nervous wreck. Oh how his friends teased him. Then again, he knew something everyone around them did not.

He knew she liked him. Whenever she thinks he's not looking, she would stare at him and be embarrassed when he suddenly turns her way. He knew she would also turn into a nervous wreck when he's around as she would become all clumsy and fidgety. He knew they felt the same and she definitely did too. They would talk a lot online but shy away personally. Nevertheless, they knew they felt the same and it made the both of them happy.

Then again, no distinct line was drawn between them. Only their minds knew. Only their hearts knew. And that missing line made everything harder. It was harder to move on because nothing ever started.

Sighing, he let go of his chest and stood up. He walked towards his drawer and pulled out an empty box before sitting back on his bed. He then held his ear, feeling where his cross earring was. After finding it, he immersed himself in his memories once again as he remembered the day before he left for South Korea.

It was after spending dinner out with his family that night when his phone suddenly rang. He was surprised to see the name displayed on the screen as they never talked over the phone. He cleared his throat and answered it. From the tone of her voice, he knew she was nervous and was calling from outside. She called him out, saying to go to the park in their subdivision and as soon as he said 'yes' she ended the call.

Grabbing his coat, he quietly left the house and walked towards the park. When he arrived, he saw someone playing by the swing. He approached her and she immediately noticed him, putting a full stop on her playing by herself. She stood up and waited for him to come closer.

They greeted each other and she apologized for calling him out so late. He said he didn't mind and he actually wanted to see her before he left. At that, she looked down and breathed deeply before looking up at him again. Without words, they stared at each other's eyes and he noticed a subtle puffiness on hers but didn't ask. He couldn't ask. He had no right to and they both knew that. They loved each other but they couldn't prevent anything from happening because they were not in a relationship. He couldn't say that if she wanted, he'd stay for her. She couldn't say that she wanted him to stay. They both had no right to as they had no evident claim on each other.

He just looked at her and waited for her to speak. She breathed deeply once again as if preventing tears from falling before asking him to hold out his hand. He did and she placed a small box on top of it. She said it was a farewell gift and he opened it - a single cross earring. She tucked her hair behind her ears and showed him that she had the other pair. He said he'll take care of it well. Smiling, she went closer to him and whispered before kissing him on the cheeks, hugging him, and bidding him her final goodbye as she left him alone in the park with tears on her eyes.

" _Take care. This cross will be the symbol of our love. Take it off when you've moved on and I'll do the same when I move on. I don't know if we'll see each other again but I'll miss you so much. I love you, Josh. You were my first love and that won't ever change. Goodbye._ "

Going back to the present reality, he fiddled with his earring for a long time before nodding to himself. "It's time," he said as he slid off the lock of the earring and pulled the accessory off before putting it back in the box.

He stood up again and walked towards his drawer and stared longingly as the earring settled softly on the cushion of the small box. He stayed like that for a minute before he put the lid on and placed the small item at the farthest part of his drawer.

Holding his chest tightly, he walked towards the door and heard the noise created by his members that were in the common area of their dorm. Smiling to himself, he knew it was really time to move on now. He needed to forget about the past and face the present that was in front of him. Going through this door meant an all new Joshua who is finally moving on from his past.

Breathing deeply, he turned the knob and opened the door. 12 pairs of eyes immediately met his and they all smiled warmly.

"Come watch the movie with us," Coups had invited. "Yeah, Joshuji! Seat beside us here," Jeonghan had followed as he tapped on the spot beside him.

"Hyung, help! They're bullying me again!" Dino whined as he ran to his back for cover. The BooSeokSoon trio stood up and teased their maknae more as the young boy tried to use him for protection.

Wonwoo, Woozi, and Vernon were too concentrated on the film to even bother with the noise but they smiled at him as acknowledgement of his presence. Mingyu stood up and went to their kitchen, asking if he wanted any snack for the movie and that he'll make it for him.

Smiling to himself, he knew this was his life now and that he can finally be truly happy as he set free the memories of the past. Looking behind him, over Dino, he stared at the drawer where he put his earring before he nodded and faced forward. He smiled again before he closed the door and took a step towards his members.

"Goodbye," he quietly muttered as he blended in with the new most important people in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Written and posted in Amino way back on Feb 2018. 
> 
> Quite old but one of my favorites. Hope you all enjoyed it!


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